


Break Even

by Crazyloststar



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazyloststar/pseuds/Crazyloststar
Summary: “Are you...an angel?” Mikleo muttered, reaching up to touch the boy’s cheek. That had to be it, he had died and was being greeted at the gates by this over excited celestial being.Those green eyes widened, but then he laughed and shook his head, and pulled back before Mikleo’s fingers could graze his skin.“No Mikleo, it’s me! Sorey!”orThe one where Sorey saves Mikleo.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I stumbled upon the Japanese movie To Each His Own on one of my many….many plane rides this year, and it has stuck with me since I watched it. So I had to write an AU out of it to work through my feelings. The movie gave me so many emotions, and I hope I can even mimic a fraction of that here. I'm trying to preserve some of the themes of the movie so I respect the message they were trying to tell in it, with changes to the story as needed for it to work with Sorey and Mikleo. It is not necessary to know the movie at all to read this, though. 
> 
> Please mind the tags, though. There are mentions of suicide, suicide attempts, and suicidal/depressive thoughts. I understand if you have to pass on this fic because of that. If you want to know specifically where things are mentioned so as to avoid reading those topics, please feel free to message me and I would be more than happy to help.

Tired didn’t even begin to explain Mikleo’s state of mind as he waited for the last train of the night. Maybe exhausted was closer, but even then maybe it was more that words alone didn’t properly express his state of mind. No one else waited alongside him; the silence broken only by distant trains was almost peaceful, somehow. His dark gray tie hung askew around his neck, his back and shoulders ached with the weight of his work bag. He thought he might be hungry, or should be, but couldn’t remember the last thing he ate or when that had been. Everything in his body was numb, a numb kind of buzzing with something that wasn’t feeling, wasn’t anything at all.

Mikleo just wanted…

It all to stop.

That night he had finished working his eighth 14 hour day in a row. At a job he was awful at, despite all his best efforts and how much he thought he had the hang of things. Then, while he was trying to work and scarf down dinner (oh, that’s when he last ate), he’d gotten into a fight over the phone with his aunt that probably left his uncle even more disappointed in him than he already was.

Mikleo had warned Lailah when she called that he was tired, that he was still at work, but she was so. _Herself_. Worried and wanting to make sure he was eating right (no) sleeping enough (not by a long shot) and taking breaks (never). And then she had offered he just come home. Like that, as if it were so easy to do something like that.

It had been the final pluck at the strings of his tightly wound up nerves, and he had said things he shouldn’t have, to anyone, let alone to his sweet aunt who only wanted to look out for him.

 **_“Just come home, reset, and find yourself again. Pendrago will always be there.”_** Words spoken so easily into a phone to someone hundreds of miles away, when they didn’t know what was actually going on in the other’s world. But Mikleo knew that was only his fault, hiding behind the fear that he would let his family down. Again.

He had tried to find himself before, and it hadn’t worked out. It had led him to this place. Going back to Elysia wouldn’t help him. He had to handle things on his own.

Mikleo sighed as his phone vibrated in his pocket, which only caused a groan to escape Mikleo’s throat. He gathered up the energy to glance at the caller ID, flashing the name ‘Heldalf’ across it like a warning signal. The phone slipped back into its place and he closed his eyes.

_I just want to sleep…_

His body became lighter the longer he stood there waiting, his limbs hanging loosely at his sides and no longer clinging to the bag as if it were a life line. His eyes fluttered closed. The sound of an oncoming train’s horn did nothing to his senses, not even a flinch.

_I want to just lie down…_

His body tilted to the side as he gave up on holding himself upright, leaning, leaning, his body being taken by gravity, by whatever force out there that would take him.

He was distantly aware of the sound of the train’s horn, of wind rushing towards his face, but it all represented the oncoming quiet, the sleep he could finally get.

 _I want_ \--

The calm and peaceful world he fell towards jolted violently away, his body pulled in the opposite direction by the wrist and sending him tumbling to the concrete floor. He landed on his back and was vaguely aware of his bag flying open, scattering its contents around him surely. The train screamed as it moved past him.

Mikleo blinked a few times. His vision blurred and he tried to focus on the pipes of the ceiling above him. Confused as there was someone sitting on top of him. He hadn’t looked yet but the weight of the person was clear across his thighs.

“Mikleo!” A voice rang out and suddenly a figure loomed over his vision of the ceiling, hands on his shoulders and shaking them softly. The contrast of the light directly above made his features hard to parse out while Mikleo still struggled to regain his sense of self.

“Long time no see!” The voice exclaimed from above.

Mikleo finally focused on the man trying to hold a conversation while precariously poised in his lap. The first thing he noticed was his smile, wide and blinding in the dimly lit station. His bright green eyes reflected the same smile, and the light shone behind his head of messy brown hair almost like a halo.

“Are you...an angel?” Mikleo muttered, reaching up to touch the boy’s cheek. That had to be it, he had died and was being greeted at the gates by this over excited celestial being.

Those green eyes widened, but then he laughed and shook his head, and pulled back before Mikleo’s fingers could graze his skin.

“No Mikleo, it’s me! Sorey!” He leaned back with Mikleo’s shoulders in hand to get him to sit up, slowly, and placed an arm around his shoulders as he moved to sit beside him on the ground.

Mikleo tracked him tentatively before staring back down at his own hands. He swallowed thickly, because clearly this had to be someone he knew, who else would take the time to pay attention to some random stranger in a train station so late at night.

Mikleo wracked his brain as he eyed Sorey as discreetly as he could. He looked so...out of place from the people he usually interacted with these days. From a different world. He wore a brightly colored sweatshirt with sunset colors and palm trees, and his jeans were ripped up and down the legs, exposing golden skin. Mikleo noticed his hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, short and sticking out at the base of his neck reaching just to his shoulders. His wrists were adorned with beaded bracelets, with feathers attached, sticking out comically. He had earrings lining his lobes, small studs and smaller feathers. He looked like he had just walked off the beach, but there wasn’t one nearby.

And Sorey currently stared at Mikleo expectantly, that same smile still on his face and one hand lightly clinging to his shoulder, keeping them connected.

Oh, he wasn’t being discreet anymore, was he?

Mikleo cleared his throat and shook his head. “Sorry, who?”

“Sorey! From elementary school! Don’t you remember?”

Mikleo licked his lips as he kept studying the face before him for any signs of familiarity. He was still trying to catch up with everything. One second, he was letting go of everything, becoming lighter than air, floating, the next--

“Come on,” the hand still on his shoulder shook him back to the present, “let’s go get a drink! It’s Saturday night, we have all night to catch up!” He stood, but still didn’t relinquish contact, letting his hand drag until it could grasp Mikleo’s wrist softly to help him also stand. Once done, he quickly gathered up the few items that had fallen out of Mikleo’s bag - his folio, some pens, random post it notes.

As he did so, Mikleo brushed off his pants and coat, and took each item as it was handed over, tossing them back into his bag unceremoniously. Sorey didn’t seem phased by it, nor by his silence.

Once all items had been retrieved, Mikleo watched Sorey walk a few steps ahead before he turned back to face Mikleo. He tried to remember those eyes, that smile, but nothing clicked. But the personality seemed like one he would remember. It wasn’t one of a quiet kid who blended into the background of childhood memories, not like he was sure he been to so many kids of his past.

Which he was sure he had been, thinking about it...he hardly talked to anyone from elementary school anymore, except for Edna, and that was because she was basically family. And also younger, so he was pretty sure she didn’t count.

So who was this guy, and how did he remember someone like--

“Mikleo!” Sorey shouted.

“Sorry, sorry.” They had started walking through the station already and he hadn’t even noticed. They were walking up the stairs toward the street level now, and he buttoned his coat against cool night air. He was sure he shouldn’t drink anything, but also he was curious about this person.

“Sure, okay fine. Drinks.” He spoke carefully, trying to work his mouth naturally despite it feeling like it was dry and stuffed full of cotton.

“Yes!” Sorey cheered and spun towards Mikleo, leading by where he still held on to his wrist. “Oh, you should maybe take this off first.” He flicked the badge attached to the pocket of Mikleo’s coat before he spin back around to guide them.

He quickly tucked it into the pocket so it was out of sight, and caught up to Sorey so they walked in step with each other. Eventually Sorey released Mikleo, as if realizing he wouldn’t be leaving his side. The whole walk, Sorey didn’t ask Mikleo anything - not about his work, not about why he was at the station so late, and not about how he happened upon him.

Instead, he talked excitedly about the bar they were going to, regaling stories of late nights there with his friends, his favorite food, and more. Mikleo listened and kept his eyes ahead on the street. A part of him wondered if Sorey was doing this on purpose - distracting and keeping the conversation going, just to create noise to keep his thoughts on something else.

He appreciated it.

The bar was definitely a small hole in the wall place with only a bar and a small tables pushed up against the wall opposite it. And only one other couple, who cozied up at one of those tables. Sorey waved at the man behind the bar, who returned the gesture.

“The usual?” He already had a glass in his hand. His long white hair was tied back into a high bun on his head, and his huge chest was barely contained by the thin shirt covered by what looked like the tiniest apron ever.

“Make that two, Zaveid!” He gestured to Mikleo, who bowed his head.

“Hello.” He tried to smile, and found it easier than he imagined, with Sorey smiling back at him and then beaming proudly at the bartender.

He was led directly to the bar and seated, hanging his bag on the chair. The man handed Sorey two beers, and Mikleo took one when offered.

“So, you hungry?” Sorey asked.

Mikleo nodded and took a long drink, finding that maybe this could still be the afterlife, with the warmth of the restaurant, the coldness of the drink, and the brightness of Sorey’s smile.

“I’ll have whatever you suggest,” he spoke finally.

Sorey grinned.

Hours later, a moderate number of beers and bad but also incredibly delicious bar food later, Mikleo found himself staring at this boy who claimed to know him.

He had finally loosened up - the food was probably the best he had eaten in weeks, and the beer made him feel warm and light in a much better way than the lightness of hours prior. His tie was off and hung over his jacket on the back of his chair, the top buttons of his collared shirt popped open, and he was laughing more than he maybe had all year. He really couldn’t remember the last time he had relaxed. The bar remained mostly empty, every now and then people would enter and have a drink before leaving, and only once had a bigger group of five people shown up and been loud. But Sorey had taken it in stride, offering them all a toast and making light conversation. Everything seemed to come naturally to him, around people.

He would often catch himself staring. Out of either that curiosity of this person who had just made their way into his life, or just. Looking at him. His jawline was sharp, his skin glowed, and when he smiled, no one could help but smile back.

Mikleo had early on removed his coat more than just because it had been warm inside the bar.

But there was something still bothering him in the back of his mind that he had been building up the courage to bring up. They had talked about so many things in that time, and yet nothing about their childhood, nothing about their years together in school.

“So wait,” He grabbed his freshly poured glass of beer and rested his elbow on the counter, staring down Sorey to try to be as intimidating as he possibly could. “You still haven’t explained. How did you know it was me? At the train station.” Mikleo asked.

Sorey took a long drink of his own beer, but maintained eye contact while he did so to the point where they started laughing, and Sorey coughed as some of the drink went down the wrong pipe.

“It was easy. You look the same as back then.” Sorey smiled once he regained himself and winked as he draped an arm around Mikleo’s shoulders, bringing their faces close.

“Eh?! I look way different now!” Mikleo leaned closer to offer himself up for inspection.

Sorey lifted his chin and his eyes danced as he studied Mikleo.

“Naw, I knew it was you instantly.” Sorey leaned forward then, close enough, Mikelo thought, if he were sober, he would have pulled back by now. “You have a look about you, it’s hard to forget.”

“Me?” Mikleo huffed, but Sorey nodded, and they kept their eyes locked for a few of Mikleo’s suddenly rapid heartbeats. Then Sorey pulled back and finished his beer. Mikleo followed, contemplating how much more he should push on this.

He decided he _would_ push. He needed to know, and maybe needed to remember as well. He couldn’t rely on Edna, because she was a year younger than him, and so would be less likely to know or remember anyone from Mikleo’s class.

“Tell me your favorite memory you have of us. Together.” He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair as if in a challenge. Sorey raised an eyebrow at him, and he saw the way his throat tensed. Mikleo worked the inside of his bottom lip.

Sorey started. “It was in Ms. Marstan’s class…”

It was Mikleo’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “You mean Mrs. Maltran.”

“Ya! Her. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought of her name. But anyways, in that class --”

“Hey, Sorey.” The bartender interrupted, and while Sorey was distracted, Mikleo finally pulled out his phone - which blinked that it was 3am, and he had a missed called from Edna. He squeezed his eyes shut. She was probably calling because she had spoken to his aunt and uncle. It made the memories of the night come back full force, the feelings of disappointment in himself, in his life, in everything.

“Hey Mikleo, it looks like you are about to pass out.” Sorey shook him softly. “Come on, I’ll take you home. Zaveid is shutting down soon anyways.” Sorey put money on the counter before Mikleo could even take out his wallet, and swatted his hands away when he tried.

“You don’t know where I live!” Mikleo exclaimed, still fighting to try to get his wallet out but failing - the exhaustion was returning and coupled with being full for the first time in days, of food and booze, his body was demanding he lay down immediately.

“You told me already, silly.” Sorey lifted Mikleo’s jacket and held it up. Mikleo sighed and turned around to allow help to put it back on. Sorey’s hands brushed his shoulders and slid down his arms, and Mikleo bit his cheek. He had definitely had too much to drink.

He had been drinking more than he had thought, clearly, to tell this stranger but not a stranger where he lived. The night was growing increasingly more blurred as time went on. He spun back around, but carefully, hand dragging along the counter.

“Let me at least give you some money for tonight--” He reached once more for his wallet, and once again Sorey stopped him, but this time with both hands on both of Mikleo’s. He brought them up and Mikleo was compelled to look up into his eyes. Sorey’s face was serious, suddenly.

“No no, it’s on me. I’m the one who kidnapped you out of nowhere for the evening.” Sorey squeezed his hands and bowed his head.

“It’s not like I was going to do anything else with my night.” Mikleo whispered. It was still The One Thing they hadn’t talked about. And while Mikleo nearly had forgotten about it as well, now things were coming back into focus, and he was realizing he might have to face the ugliness again soon.

Sorey visibly chewed on his bottom lip, but it was quickly replaced by a smile and another squeeze of his hands. “You can get it next time, how’s that?”

A promise of another time. Of another night. Of there needing to be a tomorrow for Mikleo to wake up to. He understood the underlying context, even through the haze of alcohol.

“Okay. Next time.” He agreed, and Sorey stuck out his hand in a silent demand that they shake on the matter, to which Mikleo complied.

Sorey smiled the biggest he had all night, something Mikleo didn’t think was possible.

 

* * *

 

Mikleo groaned as light hit his face. He blinked a few times before the realization that it was the sun poking through his thin curtains got him to roll over. It had been over a week since he had slept in long enough for the morning light to break through to him. He curled up under his sheets and swallowed, grimacing at the lingering taste of beer and fried chicken.

The taste let his mind drift to remembering the night before. For the briefest of moments he even wondered if it had all been a dream, that Sorey was a figment of his imagination, something that he had concocted as a way to cope with his dreary life.

But the after taste in his mouth told him it _had_ happened, that he had been at a bar until early morning with a man who claimed to know him, and that Mikleo had been happy.

Really happy. He had laughed a lot, and drank and ate and held conversation and it had felt so natural and comfortable.

He tucked himself further into his blankets as he replayed the night. The soft touches, how close he and Sorey had been to each other. Perhaps it was the afterglow of the booze that left him remembering those moments that he had let pass by now, or maybe he was misremembering and it was more of his brain just _wishing_ it had been something like that.

And then he remembered the walk home.

Mikleo jolted up and stared at the wall, trying to piece together the fuzzy memories coming back to him.

Sorey had walked him home to make sure he got in safely. At the door to his building, they had exchanged contact information on the premise of hanging out again soon. Mikleo had nodded, and in his sleep deprived and definitely intoxicated state, had leaned forward, arms outstretched.

And Sorey had reciprocated, holding Mikleo against his body, his hands rubbing up and down his back.

It wasn’t anything embarrassing like a kiss, but it may as well have been as far as Mikleo cared. He didn’t hug people, he didn’t get close to anyone, let alone someone he just met that night. It was a level of closeness he wasn’t used to showing to anyone.

As Mikleo went through the various levels of panic recalling his behavior the entire night, he heard something rapping against his window. He wasn’t sure how long that had been going on for, but once he registered it he sat still, listening. It was like someone throwing rocks against the glass of the sliding door to his patio, now that he was paying attention.

A pause in the sound. Then, “Mikleo!”

He froze up, hands clinging to the sheets around him before he managed to make himself move off the bed. He ran to the patio door and threw it open, the chill of the morning air immediately replaced by the feeling of the sun on his skin. He realized too late he was in his pajamas still, which were at least modest cotton pants and shirt, but first he had to figure out why and how…

Sorey was calling to him from the tree directly in front of him. Literally, he was in the tree, holding himself on the branches and smiling that smile as he waved. Dressed once again in bright colors, the same holy jeans but with a white tank top and a bright Hawaiian print button up shirt over, buttons undone to expose his skin --

“Mikleo! You’re awake!”

“I am _now_ ,” he crossed his arms in front of him. “And so is half my building probably. What are you doing in the tree, Sorey? I have a doorbell at the entrance.”

“I tried that! You didn’t answer.” Sorey pouted and started to climb down the tree. Mikleo racked his brain to think about how he could have missed that, and tried to find some way to excuse himself without admitting that he was recalling his night with Sorey.

He had enough time to change into a pair of comfortable jeans and a white t-shirt before buzzing Sorey up to his room. When he opened the door, Sorey looked like he had ran up the stairs, breathing heavy as he leaned against the door frame.

“Good morning!!”

“Shh! People might be sleeping still!” Mikleo stood aside and allowed Sorey to enter. He winced as he realized the state of his small studio apartment though. “Sorry for the mess, I wasn’t expecting company and I’ve been...working. A lot.”

Sorey waved a hand and kept his eyes on Mikleo, not even bothering to inspect the place. Mikleo was thankful for that. He didn’t need Sorey to see the signs of his mental state, displayed so obviously in the dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, and dying plant in the windowsill, to name just a few he could see with one swift glance.

He was usually much better than this. He really was.

“So,” Mikleo cleared his throat, “what’s going on?”

“Oh, we agreed to hang out today, remember?” Sorey practically chirped and scratched the back of his head.

Mikleo pursed his lips together.

“Is that okay?” Sorey clearly saw his expression change, and Mikleo forced a smile.

“Sure, I think I’m still a bit tired from last night.” He ran a hand through his hair and shook it out a bit, before shoving it off his forehead again, trying to get his brain to catch up with him. Having something to actually do on a Sunday wasn’t the worst thing in the world. And hanging out without the buzz of alcohol and lack of sleep could be nice.

“Sounds like you need some coffee!” Sorey exclaimed. “Let’s go!” He marched to the door and opened it, holding it open as if it were a door to a carriage for Mikleo to step through.

“Coffee. Definitely.” He grabbed his wallet and keys and stepped out the door. Baby steps.

Sorey led them excitedly to a small cafe just a few blocks away. Mikleo didn’t even know about it, and wasn’t sure how Sorey did.

“Do you live nearby?” Mikleo worked up the courage to ask as they sat at a small table after ordering. Mikleo had a cappuccino and an almond croissant that was larger than his hand, while Sorey had an iced macchiato and a fancy looking fruit tart. The cafe was adorable, and Mikleo forced himself to remember the name and where it was for the future.

“Hm?” Sorey paused as he was about to take a sip of his drink.

“This cafe, you knew where it was.” Mikleo picked off a bit of his croissant.

“Oh! I just looked it up before coming over.” He took a long sip of his drink. Mikleo accepted the answer, and they ate their breakfast in comfortable silence, every now and then looking out at the people walking by on the street.

“You look...happier.” Sorey noted. And Mikleo did his best not to act flustered and instead turn to look at him.

“More relaxed, maybe.” Sorey continued. “Than last night, I mean.”

Mikleo cleared his throat. “Ya.”

Sorey smiled and finished off his tart. Mikleo had already finished his breakfast.

“Shall we?” He stood up and held out his hand as a gesture. Mikleo eyed it and then their eyes met.

“Where are we going?”

Sorey shrugged. “From here on out, it’s an adventure.”

Mikleo raised his eyebrows, but followed Sorey anyways. Somewhere in the back of his head a voice was saying he shouldn’t just spend his day running around with a stranger. He should be resting because he had work the next day - another grueling 14 hour day most likely.

But then another part of him reminded him that Sorey was technically _not_ a stranger.

Yes, they knew each other long ago. This was about getting to know each other all over again.

“Hey, look!” Sorey ran ahead as they were about to pass a market. He grabbed a cart.

“Do you need to buy something here?” Mikleo caught up and held onto the cart’s end.

“No, but get in! Do you remember that time we did this after school one day?” Sorey motioned for him to get inside with so much enthusiasm, and Mikleo found himself compelled to follow. He hopped into the cart.

“I don’t remember…” He muttered. Then Sorey was right behind him, their cheeks brushing against each other. Mikleo tried not to pull away from the sensation.

“It’s okay, I’ll help jog your memory!” He shouted and started to run.

“Sorey wait!” Mikleo shouted and held on for dear life. The store was at the top of a hill, and once they had enough momentum, Sorey hopped onto the cart to let gravity carry them down. It was absolutely terrifying - what if a car came behind them, or they hit a rock, or anything of the other ten million things that could go wrong here.

“Sorey!” Mikleo screamed again and closed his eyes. He heard Sorey laughing and shouting out in excitement as they picked up speed down the hill.

He wasn’t sure what they hit, but suddenly there was a bump and they were both flying out of the cart. Mikleo opened his eyes enough to see the world go from pavement to blue sky to pavement to blue sky, and then he landed on his back on a soft patch of grass.

He laid still, catching his breath.

“Mikleo!” He heard Sorey crawling over, and then there was a hand on his shoulder.

“M’okay. I’m okay.” Mikleo sat up - their cart had hit a speedbump it looked like, and now it was lying on the side of the road. He looked at Sorey, whose eyes were wide with worry.

Mikleo let out a laugh, and then Sorey did too, and they both fell back to the ground laughing about what he wasn’t even sure. Maybe about not dying, or being terribly injured, for doing such a stupid thing.

They were sprawled out now on the grass along the street, shoulders touching and their bodies facing the opposite direction. As the laughter died, Mikleo rubbed his eyes and followed a small white cloud that passed over his vision in the sky.

“Hey, Mikleo,” Sorey almost whispered. He shifted a little, and their shoulders rubbed.

“Hmm?”

“What did you want to be when you grew up?”

Mikleo turned his head and found Sorey staring at him. His green eyes were soft, half lidded but his expression was almost somber.

He cleared his throat. “An archaeologist and historian.”

Sorey’s eyes lit up. “That’s ambitious.”

Mikleo let out a small laugh and looked back to the sky. “I had this idea that I would travel the world visiting all the old ruins I could, write books and research papers about them, and then when I got too old for that, I would teach history. To inspire the next generation of students.”

He studied another cloud as it floated by. It had been some time, since he had talked about his dreams.

His failures.

“So what happened?” Sorey asked quietly.

“It was just a childish dream.” Mikleo whispered. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I guess I realized what it would take to get there, and what I needed was a stable job.”

“And you have that now?”

Mikleo fidgeted with the grass between his fingertips. “It’s a stable job. Everyone always needs...advertising...”

After Sorey didn’t respond, Mikleo turned to look at him once more. “What about you?”

He gave a soft smile. “More or less the same.”

“What, archaeologist turned historian after retirement?” Mikleo smirked. He was clearly joking, but really, he wanted to know more about Sorey. He felt like all they had really done, when getting personal, was focus on him. So far Sorey had been skilled in avoiding talking about himself much.

Sorey only laughed, but there was something behind it that Mikleo wanted to follow, wanted to chase to find out more. “Just had a dream like you, I mean.”

 

* * *

 

Mikleo was once again robbed of learning more about Sorey when the market owner caught up to them and started shouting about his cart. After collecting themselves off the side of the road, apologizing profusely and returning it, they wandered to the small area of shops by Mikleo’s place. In particular, for some reason Sorey had demanded they go into the fancy suit store.

“Sorey, you don’t even own a suit, do you?” Mikleo poked him in the side.

“How do you know?” Sorey huffed and dodged another poke.

“You don’t catch me as the suit type.” Mikleo shrugged as they walked in. He was bombarded with carbon copies of colors, black and whites repeating on walls reminding him of his daily commute.

“Well, maybe I am and you just don’t know yet. I might look quite good in a suit.” Sorey slid behind a jacket hanging on a rack and posed with the arms to make it move in front of him. Mikleo snorted.

“Please stop or we will get kicked out of here so fast.” But he was laughing, and Sorey was too.

“Okay fine, you got me, I don’t have a suit. But!” Sorey grabbed Mikleo by the wrist and led him over to a large rack of ties. “You do, and I bet you need new ties.”

“I don’t think I do,” He had exactly 6 ties, so he never had to wear the same tie once in a work week. It was the perfect strategy.

“Hmmm let me guess,” Sorey hooked his hand under his chin in thought as he looked over the selection, “all your ties are in the black, dark blue, and gray palette.”

“What’s wrong with that? It makes a clean and professional look.” Mikleo pouted. He gingerly touched one of the ties that he was pretty sure he had at home - a black one with small triangle patterns in a dark grey thread.

“Mikleo, you have to talk to clients, right? And basically win them over to work with you?” Sorey held up a bright orange tie and spun Mikleo around so he could observe Mikleo in the mirror while holding up the tie.

“Y-yes, I do. That’s the bulk of my job, why…”

“And you wear those boring ties?” Sorey tsked.

“Excuse you!” Mikleo pointed at the black ties. “These are classy!”

“You could wear these bright ties, and, hmm,” Sorey reached out and fussed with Mikleo’s hair, bringing his bangs down on his forehead. “Ah, there. I think you could be more relatable to clients like this! It feels more like you.”

“I’m always me!” Mikleo shook his head but didn’t make an effort to fix his hair at this point, figuring Sorey would just mess it up again.

Sorey hummed and stepped around, now holding a turquoise tie up to Mikleo’s neck to mimic where it would sit with his work shirt. His fingers grazed Mikleo’s skin, and Mikleo sucked in a breath but tried to hide it as he froze.

“S-sorey!” He lifted his hands and nearly pushed on Sorey’s chest. He wasn’t even sure what he would be pushing against - maybe their closeness, in a store, or the idea of sticking out in a world where he tried to just skate by without drawing too much attention to himself.

But Sorey stepped in closer, his hand folding against Mikleo’s chest, and Mikleo finally moved, staggering backwards. And Sorey, smiling all the while, pushed on. 

“I think bright colors suit you,” He said softly as they kept moving, Mikleo now moving purely on momentum. His focus now on Sorey’s lips, dangerously close. Why was he even thinking about his lips.

Sorey kept walking forward, kept holding up different ties. “Look, this one can be for Monday, this one for Tuesday --”

**_BWEEEEEEEEEEEEP BWEEEEEEEEEEEEP BWEEEEEEEEEEEEP_ **

They both jumped apart. They had moved into the doorway of the store and set off the security alarm, causing the workers to come running towards them.

“We’ll take all these!” Sorey shouted as he ran towards the register. Mikleo chased after, muttering apologies and also whispering _please do nots_ to Sorey’s back, to no avail.

After lots of apologizing and strong looks from the store clerks, Mikleo felt obligated to buy the ties so that the they didn’t think he had actually intended to steal anything. While the lady bagged up the _six_ ties Sorey had picked out for him, he tried not to worry about the money. The reality was he didn’t spend much and did have the money to spare. He just wasn’t used to doing much for himself these days, let alone buying himself ties for the job he believed he was failing at.

“You know,” Sorey spoke so casually, leaning on the counter and facing him as if there wasn’t someone in front of them, “with your hair like that, and these new ties, I think the last step is to just remember to smile and speak slowly. You will definitely win over your clients!”

Mikleo cleared his throat and spared a glance to the woman, who was focused on her task. He looked to Sorey. “But if I talk too slowly, they will think I think they don’t understand what I’m explaining.”

Sorey shook his head. “It’s all about the right balance. You just need to not go at rapid fire pace, because then they might think you are nervous.”

Mikleo narrowed his eyes. The woman handed the bag over the counter, and Sorey took it with a bright smile that made her return the gesture with a wave as well.

As they left the store, Mikleo finally asked “So why do you know so much about sales? You don’t look the type.”

“Ah, well,” Sorey scratched his arm and laughed softly, “I used to be in sales, a few years ago.”

Mikleo’s eyes widened. “Why did you leave?”

“It was lonely. And I didn’t enjoy it.”

Mikleo was finally getting some answers about Sorey, about who he was. Though his answers were a bit short, it was still definitely progress.

“So what do you do for work now?”

Sorey grinned. They turned a corner, continuing to walk back towards Mikleo’s place. “Hang out with you.”

Mikleo huffed and rocked his shoulder against him before he even realized he was doing so. “That’s not a job.”

“Well, someone has to look out for you, right?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. There was something else behind his eyes, and Mikleo didn’t have a rebuttal to give.

Because he hadn’t allowed for anyone else to do just that, to look out for him, for these past few years. Not his family, not his friends, definitely not his coworkers; he had cornered himself off in this small part of the city and refused help, refused to let people in and know how badly he had messed up.

Sorey saw right through him, and pushed his way into his world. Something in Mikleo warmed, but it also sent his heartbeat racing.

“Mikleo?” A strong hand rested on his shoulder.

He had actually stopped moving, his body clearly unable to maintain basic motor control while his brain short circuited. Mikleo cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders before giving Sorey a stern look.

“I guess then I have to do the same for you.” He tried his hardest to look determined.

Sorey smiled and hummed, then raised his hand up in a fist in front of them both. Mikleo looked down at it, then mimicked the movement with the opposite hand, bumping their arms together at their wrists.

They made eye contact and held their hands like that while Sorey finally replied. “It’s a deal.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sorey--” 
> 
> He leaned in, his arm draped across the back of the chair, his other hand on Mikleo’s arm. “You earned this.” 
> 
> Mikleo swallowed and stared back at him, focusing hard on the bright green that looked back at him. “But you--”
> 
> Sorey squeezed his arm. “You. No matter what I said, you had to do it. And you did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! this update comes much later than I had planned. A lot has happened the last month and a half. I have been diagnosed with a severe pinched nerve in my neck which is so bad that it reached both of my wrists as well. I'm just now getting to a point where I can type for 15 minutes in one sitting before I'm in a lot of pain or I lose feeling in my hands. I'm using a lot of voice to text, but using it for writing fic is a bit strange still. 
> 
> This chapter was nearly finished when this injury took shape in mid-January, and so I'm excited I've finally been able to go through and edit it to make it presentable over the course of the last few weeks. It's not 100% where I wanted it to be, but since I can't type as much as I would want to I am posting this as is because I just want to feel like I am creating something. \o\
> 
> All that said, thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading!

His alarm pulled him awake as the sun came through his thin curtains. Mikleo reached over to switch his phone off with a smile on his face, and he couldn’t remember the last time he woke up feeling such a way. Along with the alarm on his phone screen, there was a text that had been sent just minutes before he had woken up.

**_S: Good morning, Mikleo! I know you’ll have a great day today. If you need anything, I’m here for you!_ **

Mikleo licked his lips and sighed as he rolled onto his back, holding the phone up over his face while being careful not to drop it as he typed back his reply.

 ** _M:_** _**Thanks, Sorey. I’ll let you know how it goes.**_

Today was more than just another day at work. Today, Mikleo was going to try to get one of the biggest clients his company had been chasing after for months - _Rolance Incorporated_. They were rumored to be extremely picky on who they worked with, and due to this had been without a proper team for months.

It had been determined by his boss it was almost impossible to win them over at this point.

Which was why Mikleo had been hesitant and full of self doubt at the idea of even trying to meet with the manager of Rolance Incorporated, a man named Sergei. But at dinner the night before with Sorey the two had gone over his plan of attack and it left him brimming with confidence.

Sorey was really smart, and kind, and funny, and made Mikleo feel so much lighter than he had since moving to the city. Having someone who was there for him, and not part of the competition, not someone who was looking out for themselves, was new and welcomed.

And he gave really simple, good advice which seemed to speak to his own experiences. Mikleo kept wanting to ask more about his previous job before he left the working world, but each time Sorey would answer very vaguely and then turn the conversation about Mikleo. Eventually, Mikleo got the hint and stopped trying. It didn’t mean he still wasn’t curious. But, he had to remind himself, even if they knew each other when they were kids, they were still just now getting to know each other again. Two days really wasn’t a lot of time before delving into one’s past trials.

Mikleo sat up and rubbed his face. Another message blinked on the screen - Sorey sending a string of emojis. Mikleo smiled as he got up from the bed to stretch.

After washing up, he put on his usual suit, then inspected his usual ties. He paused as he reached for a dark gray one, remembering the ones Sorey had picked out for him. They were still in the bag from the day before, so he carefully pulled each one out and laid them on the bed.

He studied each one - bright colors he would never have imagined himself wearing, and thinking about wearing them gave him a spike of anxiety. What would his coworkers say? Would his boss call him out? Hedalf was not the most reserved in his emotions towards things he didn’t like. It was part of the reason things were so...challenging. They all had to wear suits a certain way, be at work at a specific time, stick to the regimented schedule for breaks.

He took in a deep breath and held up his phone. He snapped a picture of the five ties - orange, blue, green, red, purple - and sent it to Sorey.

**_M: Which one do I wear?_ **

He started to gather his things in his bag for work while waiting for a response. Within minutes he heard the message notification and checked his phone.

**_S: Orange!_ **

Mikleo smiled.

**_M: Reminds me of you._ **

He panicked.

**_M: I mean because of the bracelets you wear, they have orange in them, the color reminds me of those._ **

Mikleo’s palms were sweating as he threw his phone in his bag, too terrified to see Sorey’s response. He couldn’t believe he had just said something so _questionably_ flirtatious. He hoped Sorey didn’t think too much of it, nor of his clearly panicked follow up.

He put on the orange tie and studied himself in the mirror. He thought about how Sorey had fussed with his hair to brush the bangs over his forehead. He ran his fingers through his hair to mimic the look, studying how his hair looked just grazing the tops of his eyes. He straightened his shoulders and put on his best smile.

It would have to do.

A notification on his phone broke him out of his character study. He still refused to look at the message yet, but hoped Sorey just brushed off the whole awkward conversation as he grabbed his bag.

He bolted out the door and headed for the train station. The brisk air refreshed him. He still didn’t look at his phone, not until he managed to snag a seat somehow for his 30 minute commute. Once they got moving, he pulled out his phone. He closed his eyes as he unlocked it.

**_S: Mikleo! I hadn’t even thought of that when I picked that one for you. Then, think of me when you see it, and I’ll send you positive thoughts when I look at my bracelet!_ **

Mikleo’s heart raced and he covered his mouth with his hand, smiling as he held back a laugh. It was almost like something out of a movie, the way Sorey spoke. It didn’t feel real.

Mikleo wasn’t sure what he was doing at this point, but he thought he might like it.

 

* * *

 

Mikleo stood at the door of the office, his mind racing with anxiety and excitement at what the day would bring. He pushed his shoulders back and lifted his chin, thinking of all the words of advice from Sorey. He would have to exude confidence today, more than he had ever before.

He pushed open the door and greeted his coworkers who were already in. It was still a few minutes before 8, so there weren’t too many as people were still arriving. Their office was small, one room with four rows of desks. So far Mason and Loanna were already at work, heads down as they concentrated on their computer screens. When Mikleo took his own seat a row over from them, he made eye contact with the assistant manager on the opposite side.

“Good morning, Symonne.” He offered a smile as she stared up at him. Her dark eyes narrowed as she studied him, her delicate face framed by her bangs this morning, instead of her hair being up in its ponytail.

Mikleo swallowed and tried not to fidget under her gaze.

“You have a new tie.” She tilted her head, eyes shifting down for a heartbeat as if to make sure he understood what she was referring to.

“What do you think?” He clenched his jaw to keep his nerves in check. His mind repeated the mantra from Sorey. _Be confident._

Symonne held their eye contact. She offered a smile, but something about it was weird, and Mikleo realized it was maybe because Symonne had never smiled directly at him before.

“It’s a good look.” Her head bowed down as she promptly went back to focusing on her monitor.

“Thank you,” He nodded and got to work, trying not to think too much about it anymore. As he got situated at his desk, more works filed in and took their seats to get ready for the day. The door opened a final time, and everyone shouted good morning. He looked up to see their manager, Hedalf, walking through the office. He was tall and imposing, his glare enough to silence the room that had been loud with people chatting moments before.

As he passed Mikleo, he gave him a quick once over. For a moment, Mikleo was nervous he would say something, but then he kept on moving and Mikleo had to focus real hard to not let out a loud sigh of relief. He wanted to impress potential clients, but also wanted to stay off his boss’s radar. He hoped he could manage both, until he had something good to report at least.

 

* * *

 

On break, Mikleo followed his usual routine. He took his lunch up to the rooftop of his building to sit and watch the skyline of the city while he ate. Pulling out his phone, he had a few encouraging texts from Sorey, but then he noticed he also had a text from Edna.

**_Edna: Yo Meebo. Haven’t heard from you._ **

He took a bite of his sandwich. The dark cloud threatened to come over him at seeing the message. He recalled she had tried calling him on Saturday and he hadn’t responded at all. He took a sip of his water and debated what to say back. He didn’t want her to worry, and didn’t want to talk about his conversation with his aunt.

So, he tried a distraction.

**_M: Ah, sorry. I ended up spending the weekend with a friend from elementary school that I bumped into on Saturday night. Got distracted!_ **

He looked out over the city. Usually when he sat there he was full of anxiety and needed the silence. Today he was still anxious, but it was different. He was nervous about going to the office of Rolance Incorporated that afternoon, of putting himself out there for a potential win. Which was a better kind of feeling than previous.

His phone pinged.

**_E: Ah? Who? Would I remember them?_ **

Mikleo saw no harm in saying who, there was basically no chance she knew who he was anyways, since even he didn’t remember.

**_M: Sorey? Brown hair and green eyes. Big smile._ **

He didn’t go further than that for the description, though he could. Broad shoulders, soft hands, smile bright as the sun…

**_E: Huh, don’t remember that name. Seems pretty distinct._ **

**_M: I mean, I don’t remember him either but my memory of that time is bad. Plus it’s not like I kept in touch with anyone from that school._ **

**_E: Hmmmm. Hold on, I’m investigating._ **

Mikleo sat upright, nearly knocking over his bottle of water.

**_M: Investigating what?!_ **

**_E: Don’t worry about it. But glad you had a good weekend!_ **

He narrowed his eyes at his phone, but didn’t respond. It was five minutes to one, and he had to get back to work. He would have to pester Edna for what she meant later.

 

* * *

 

“Congratulations!!” Sorey cheered loudly despite being so close as they clinked their large glasses of beer together. They were in the same bar as the previous two nights, only this time sitting in one of the smaller corner tables instead of at the counter.

Mikleo found he was...happy. More than he had been in a long time. As they took a quick sip after their toast, he stared at the man sitting across from him.

“It’s all thanks to you, Sorey.” Mikleo smiled and took a longer drink.

Sorey stopped in the middle of his own long sip and set his glass down with concern in his eyes. “What? No, you did it all!”

Mikleo shook his head. He predicted Sorey wouldn’t want to admit his role in his successes, he would want to support Mikleo through and through. “You gave me good advice. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Sorey stared at him for a few long seconds. Then he stood and grabbed his chair, swinging it around the table so they were sitting next to each other, and way too close for most people.

“Sorey--”

He leaned in, his arm draped across the back of the chair, his other hand on Mikleo’s arm. “ _You_ earned this.”

Mikleo swallowed and stared back at him, focusing hard on the bright green that looked back at him. “But you--”

Sorey squeezed his arm. “You. No matter what I said, _you_ had to do it. And you did.”

Mikleo moved on from those green eyes and studied his face, trying not to particularly focus on Sorey’s lips. Finally, he nodded.

“So,” Sorey reached across the table for his beer. He kept his chair right where it was, even though it was cramped, and Mikleo found he didn’t mind at all. “you got the meeting. When do you pitch?”

“Tomorrow,” Mikleo distracted himself with another sip of his own beer, licking his lips. “I spent the rest of the afternoon today finalizing my presentation, and I have to go first thing in the morning.”

“Then, tonight I’ll release you early,” Sorey said with a laugh. “Can’t keep you out too late, you need to be ready to fight tomorrow.”

Mikleo let out a huff. “It’s not fighting.”

“You know what I mean.” Sorey winked and checked his phone. “It’s just after nine. We should get you home.”

Mikleo stared at the last bit of beer sitting at the bottom of his glass. They had finished dinner already, and he knew deep down Sorey was right. He should get a good night’s sleep and be well rested for the day he had. Despite the desire he felt in his chest to stay there, basking in Sorey’s warmth.

Mikleo let out a huff. “Okay, you’re right.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning was the most important day of his career.

Sorey had already decreed the night before, just before leaving him at his door, that Mikleo should wear the green tie. Mikleo tried not to think about how this one reminded him of Sorey’s eyes as he observed himself in the mirror before leaving for work. He had to stay focused on the objective, which was to land this client and finally prove he was a worthy employee for Hyland. He would prove to Hedalf he wasn’t just someone to be looked down on in the office.

He was worthy of being part of their team.

On the way to the office, he and Sorey sent each other a few messages, mostly Sorey offering his support, reminding him to smile, talk slowly, all the things that Mikleo had at this point started reciting like a mantra. Mikleo appreciated the reminders. HIs anxiety was already starting to pick up the closer he got to work.

Once he arrived at the office, he had to quickly pick up his supplies and check in before leaving for his meeting. When he opened the door, Symonne was the only one in, and she observed him quietly as he grabbed his presentation materials off his desk.

“You’re meeting with Rolance today, right?”

Mikleo nodded and smiled. “They agreed to a meeting yesterday, I was so shocked. Wish me luck!” He waved as he left. Symonne didn’t wave back, but he didn’t really expect her to. He wasn’t even sure why he did in the first place. She was a very reserved person, and he usually was too, to be honest.

He looked down at the green tie.

He marked himself on their board as being out, and slid out the door as a few other members of his team entered past him. No one wished him luck, but he didn’t mind. He knew that soon he would have their respect.

Rolance Incorporated was just two stops over by train, and so he was there rather quickly. Standing at the entrance to the building, a strong sense of fear washed over him.

Rolance Incorporated was _huge_. They had one building for them, a tall skyscraper with clean pristine windows that reflected the morning sun.

Once inside and navigated all the security, he was escorted to the main meeting room. He set up his presentations and laptop, and took minimal sips of water so he wouldn’t have to use the restroom during their meeting, which would last about two hours.

He took a deep breath.

He went to turn his phone off completely to avoid any distractions, and saw one more text from Sorey.

**_S: I know I’ve already said it so much, but I believe in you! You are smart and can do this, they would be idiots to not hire you._ **

Mikleo smiled, but didn’t respond. He knew Sorey wasn’t expecting one at this point. He turned the phone off and put it in his bag, then sat in the seat at the edge of the table.

The large glass walls allowed him to be able to see exactly when they were walking towards him. Sergei Strelka entered his view, surrounded by his entourage. Mikleo sat upright as he observed them, looking crisp and professional and miles beyond anything he felt about himself most days.

They entered the room, and Mikleo stood up from his chair and made his way around to shake the hand of the man who controlled his fate.

Sergei nodded in the direction of the presentation screen as he sat down across from Mikleo. “Well then, show me what you have.”

 

* * *

 

Mikleo could not even try to hide his excitement and relief as he ran up to the already familiar bar. Sorey stood outside, waiting for him, and as soon as they locked eyes Sorey opened up his arms. Mikleo realized he was laughing after the sound was already echoing off the walls of the alleyway, and he didn’t care as he fell into Sorey’s embrace.

Sorey held him tight, his hands clinging to his back. They hadn’t ever hugged yet, Mikleo realized in that moment, and yet this felt so natural and like it was something they were always meant to do.

Sorey pulled back first, hands sliding up to Mikleo’s shoulders. His smile was wide. “It seems like I don’t have to wait for you to tell me how it went?”

Mikleo blushed a little but hid it by running his hand through his hair and then gripping Sorey’s arms. His skin was warm to the touch despite the cool night air.

“They hired me on! I have to start working on their stuff tomorrow, but it’s my first client. My manager was so surprised!”

Sorey clapped his hands on Mikleo’s shoulders and squeezed. “I knew you could do it!”

“More thanks to you, still.” Mikleo sighed and smiled. He knew this would just cause them to degenerate into a similar conversation as before, but he had to say it, had to let Sorey know.

Sorey had saved him in so many ways in just a few days.

Sorey just smiled back at him, wide and unfaltering. “I think tonight you deserve several drinks. Or more.”

“More like ‘or more’,” Mikleo muttered, “The next few days are going to be crazy.”

Sorey laughed and turned, pulling his arm around Mikleo’s shoulders. “More drinks it is!!”

Inside, Zaveid waved and they took a seat at the counter, and immediately two beers were placed in front of them. Sorey grabbed his and looked to Mikleo, who followed.

“To your success!” Sorey cheered. They clinked glasses, and drank fast, both trying not to laugh nor break eye contact while they drank. Upon finishing they slammed their glasses down.

“Another round!” Sorey shouted between laughs. “And lots of sushi, please!”

“Sushi?” Mikleo gasped as he took his new glass of beer. “We usually just do the fried stuff.”

“It’s a celebration,” Sorey whispered, leaning in close so their shoulders touched. He lifted his free hand to lightly tap Mikleo’s chin. “And you deserve the best.”

Mikleo, who was about to sip his drink, froze with his glass midair and eyes wide. Sorey watched him, then glanced down for a split second before pulling back, his smile back but a slight blush on his cheeks.

Mikleo was sure he was a dark red at this point. He tried to hide his face in his glass while staring straight ahead, drinking this one just as quickly as the first. Placing his glass down, he gathered himself while staring at the glass in front of him before looking to Sorey again, who was slowly drinking his. But his eyes were trained on Mikleo.

“Sorey,” Mikleo played with the end of his tie. He hadn’t even gotten to take off his coat yet, so whisked away by everything.

One corner of Sorey’s lip lifted.

“Here you go, chef’s choice.” Zaveid placed a plate of gorgeous looking sushi between them. “Enjoy.” He spoke gruffly.

They both looked up and said their thanks. Mikleo’s heart raced as they quietly looked over the fish. There was a tension in the air he wasn’t sure what to do with, or what kind it was, even. But there was something between them, pulling the air out of his lungs and his pulse quicken.

“Which do you--”

They both had started to speak at the same time. Devolving into laughs, it seemed some of the air returned to his lungs.

“Seriously,” Sorey managed to speak first. “Which ones?”

“Hmmmm,” Mikleo moved some of the pieces to closer to him, to designate his side. “These?”

Sorey nodded and took one on his side, a piece of tuna. After popping it in his mouth and closing his eyes, Mikleo did the same with a piece of shrimp. They ate in silence, and Zaveid brought two more beers for them.

“So, you still haven’t told me exactly how it went down!” Sorey asked, inspecting the fish to select another on his side of the plate.

“It was pretty intense,” Mikleo took another piece of sushi from the plate, “but once I got going, I felt like I had it down. They were attentive and asked questions I could answer, and at the end they were very enthusiastic to have me on.”

“That’s great!” Sorey took a sip of his beer slowly.

“Now I just have to prove myself with the work I do. They can still drop me at any point, which would reflect terribly on the company.” He tried not to think about that too much, instead popping another fish in his mouth and focusing on that.

“I doubt you would do anything to make that happen,” Sorey chided and nudged <ikleo with his shoulder.

Mikleo leaned against the touch, and they stayed like that, pushed against each other’s shoulders as they kept eating. When the plate was empty, and their beers depleted, Zaveid cleaned it up and brought two bowls of soba and two more beers.

“Hey, Sorey,” Mikleo said between bites. “I feel like…” He paused and collected his thoughts. Sorey turned to face him, and their knees touched. Mikleo focused on the bubbles in his drink instead.

Mikleo blamed the alcohol. And Sorey. He didn’t like talking about his emotions. He wasn’t an emotional person, not outwardly to others at least, and yet in just a few days he had broken down that wall and allowed this person into a place no one else ever had been.

His fingers slid around the base of his glass, dragging through the condensation. Sorey’s hand slid across the table, his fingers brushing against Mikleo’s. He held his breath, and despite how fast his pulse quickened he didn’t dare move his hand away. They both moved their fingers slowly, and Mikleo watched as Sorey’s sunkissed skin contrasted against his own paler hand. And then a thumb dragged across Mikleo’s wrist, and fingers pushed the glass out of the way, and their fingers interlocked and---

Sorey leaned closer, Mikleo could see out of the corner of his eye. His right hand moved behind Mikleo, sliding up his back. Mikleo swallowed, but didn’t take his eyes of their hands, how Sorey’s thumb still caressed his wrist and how Sorey could probably feel his pulse.

“Mikleo,” Sorey’s voice was low and almost against his ear.

“Mmm,” Mikleo bit his bottom lip, and then turned his head. There was just enough space between them for him to do so without them touching, but barely. Sorey’s eyes studied him, his face serious.

“Are you okay?” He asked, and Mikleo laughed softly at the question.

He wasn’t okay, not in the least, but it was the good kind of not okay, one that he was realizing he might be fine with.

“I’ve never been as happy, as I am today.” Mikleo admitted before he could stop himself. Sorey seemed to take in a breath and let it out slowly. His gaze traveled to their hands, still locked together, and he tightened his hold.

“Mikleo, there’s something. I need to…”

Mikleo watched as his throat tightened and Sorey pursed his lips together.

Mikleo looked around them. There weren’t too many people in the place, but there certainly were others around.

“Here,” Mikleo whispered. With one hand he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and managed to get a grip on enough bills to cover their food. He dropped them on the counter, and tugged on Sorey’s hand where they were still connected. “Lets go outside.”

Sorey nodded and allowed himself to be led out of the bar. Once outside, they stood side by side under the soft street light.

Mikleo’s whole body was on fire. He checked around them and then pulled Sorey around the corner, where there was less light and some quiet. The bar was already in a less dense part of the area, so there weren't as many people coming around.

Sorey watched him, as Mikleo leaned against the wall and pulled Sorey to him.

“Sorey,” he spoke low and his voice shook and he wanted something, anything, so many things, and sorey moved against him as if hearing his thoughts, his free hand sliding up his neck and brushing against his hair, Mikleo tipped his chin up and parted his lips just enough.

Sorey leaned in, and when their lips met they both inhaled sharply as if they didn’t think it was real. Mikleo still wasn’t convinced that it was. Sorey’s lips were just as warm as his smile, soft as they slid across his own. They kissed slowly, pressed against each other, mouths tentatively opening to slide against each other more deeply. Mikleo was pushed up against the wall more and he didn’t care. His free hand curled into Sorey’s shirt at his waist to keep him close, to make sure Sorey knew this was what he wanted.

Sorey pulled away but kept his hand on Mikleo’s neck, eyes focused on his. There was something in his expression Mikleo couldn’t place. It wasn’t regret, but there was something sad. Mikleo wanted to know why, but he was also scared to ask.

“It’s getting late,” Sorey said with softness. “Tomorrow is another big day for you.”

Mikleo nodded and pushed off the wall enough to lean his head against Sorey’s shoulder. He wrapped his arm around him and hugged tight. The effects of the booze were mild, but enough to make me definitely feel sleepy and looking forward to the comforts of his bed.

“I’ll walk you to the station.”

Mikleo nodded but didn’t immediately move. Sorey moved so his arm was wrapped around him, encasing him in warmth as they walked towards the station. They were quiet the whole way, and Mikleo was left to his thoughts about what he had done, and said. They had just met days ago, this was foolish and some poor attempt at a romance movie, is what it was.

They arrived at the entrance of the station where he and Sorey would need to part ways. He kept his hands on Mikleo’s shoulders as he turned to face him, and Mikleo’s pulse quickened for the hundredth time that night.

“Get a good night’s rest, okay?” Sorey smiled, but there was something to it again, that wasn’t entirely like him.

“Of course,” was all Mikleo could say in response. Because what could he say, when they had just kissed and it felt amazing and yet he was unsure if it was something he should have done?

Sorey stepped back, his hand dragging down Mikleo’s arm until their fingers met, intertwined, and Mikleo curled his fingers against Sorey’s. The motion made his eyes slide up to meet Mikleo’s own.

“Mikleo,” his voice was sad, and almost like a warning.

“Is it bad?” Mikleo asked, tugging more. “That I…”

“No!” Sorey closed in, their hands still clutching each other. “Just. You’re tired, and you’ve been drinking.”

“Not enough to compromise anything.” Mikleo chided.

But Sorey tsked. “Sounds like something someone who’s had too much to drink would say.” He winked, and Mikleo narrowed his eyes at him. He gave him a push with his hands, and Sorey laughed.

“You’re making fun!”

“Mikleo, we’ve both been drinking! Several large pints of beer!”

Mikleo groaned and rolled his eyes, but when they came back around Sorey was closer than before, his gaze intense.

“Next time,” he whispered.

“Huh?”

“Kiss me again.” Sorey smiled, kissed him on the forehead, and spun around. He waved a hand up in the air, leaving Mikleo standing there like a fool.

“Good night, Mikleo!”

“I...You!” Mikleo shouted, and was thankful Sorey had already walked away so he wouldn’t see him blushing. He waved at Sorey’s back. “Goodnight!” He finally shouted, just before Sorey turned a corner.

Next time, Mikleo would kiss him again. He would.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week moved on in a blur of meetings with artists, designers, and printers. Mikleo had to impress Sergei, and it took all his energy to manage. By Friday he had missed calls from Edna, Lailah, and even Sorey. The last he would at least text to let him know he was eating and sleeping, just slammed with work.

But he felt invigorated. He had a client, he had someone who made him feel special and warm. He had even managed to clean up his apartment a little over the course of the week to make it feel more like home again. Things were looking up.

_Finally._

He was sitting in the weekly meeting for those with clients, to give updates to Hedalf about their progress, discuss any roadblocks and ask any questions to the group. It was his first time in the meeting, considering he hadn’t had a client since joining the company, and he was attentive and doing his best to talk well, but not boast, about his work.

Then Mason was at the door, knocking as he entered. “Sorry, sir, but I need to speak with Mikleo. It’s urgent.”

The whole room turned and looked at him. Hedalf stared down the table, seeming intimidating even at this distance, and narrowed his eyes, and Symonne looked worried.

“Sir?” Mikleo managed to speak. Hedalf made an annoyed gesture with his hand and Mikleo grabbed his things and left the room as gracefully as he could, worried what could have led Mason to interrupt this meeting.

Once in the hallway, Mikleo realized just how nervous Mason looked.

“What’s going on?” He shrugged his bag onto his shoulder.

“It’s Rolance. There was a mistake in the printing.” He looked down at the floor, as if it had been him who had caused this.

Mikleo wanted to sink into the floor he stared at. “What?”

“The ads, they arrived and they were all wrong. Dimensions of logos off, colors wrong...”

Mikleo heard the words but none of them made sense. He had worked so hard all week, to make sure every single detail was correct before it was all put in the system.

He pulled out his phone, and went through his email. He looked for the email that would have the work memo for the printer. It was automated, based on a ticket he would have put in. He stared at the information on his screen once he found it.

The darkness in his mind, that had nearly vanished, reformed anew.

None of it was right. He knew that the moment he looked at it. It didn’t look like anything he would have entered in.

Nothing made sense.

His mouth was dry. “I don’t..”

“Mikleo!” Mason hissed. “You have to fix this! Before Hedalf finds out!”

“Before I find out what.”

The two straightened up and turned slowly, Mikleo pocketing his phone. Hedalf and Symonne stood in the hallway, watching them closely.

Mikleo was a fool, to think he could have everything so easy, he realized.

Hedalf looked at Symonne. “I want you to go to Rolance right now and fix this.”

Everything was slipping out of his fingers faster than he could catch them. “Sir, please, give me a chance to speak--”

“I said,” Hedalf’s voice boomed through the narrow hallway, “Symonne will fix this. She will take over to ensure we don’t lose them entirely as a client. Having an assistant manager will ease Sergei’s concerns I’m sure.”

“Yes of course, sir.” Symonne said dryly, and immediately moved down the hall. She passed Mikleo with no acknowledgement.

Why would she, Mikleo had messed everything up. Again. They had to take on more work because of him, again.

Mason sighed next to him, and softly placed a hand on his shoulder. Mikleo slowly looked up.

“Hey, it’s okay. Things happen.”

Mikleo cleared his throat. Hedalf was still there, watching them. He turned to face the manager.

“Please let me help Symonne, sir. I want to at least apologize to Sergei for what’s happened.”

“No,” Hedalf didn’t even hesitate. With his answer, he also walked past them. Beside Mikleo, he stopped and stared down at him. “I don’t want you going near that company, and you will hand over all your materials regarding Rolance Incorporated to Symone. Understood?”

Mikleo lifted his chin. He had to keep it together, just a while longer. “Of course.”

Hedalf didn’t even acknowledge his answer. Just moved along. Mikleo felt lucky, to be honest, that they were out in the hallway for now. If he stayed out here, Hedalf wouldn’t yell as much as he would in the confines of their space.

“Mikleo,” Hedalf said as he opened the door. They both looked up. “Go home.”

“Sir, it’s only five, I can still give Sy-”

“Tonight she will focus on talking to them. You can hand over everything tomorrow. I want you home so I don’t have to look at you.”

Mikleo winced, and then he was gone. The door closed, and silence rang in the hallway. Mason looked at the door, then to Mikleo nervously.

“It’s okay,” Mikleo met his worried gaze and offered the lightest of smiles, “go back in. I’ll be fine.”

Mason didn’t ask if he was sure. He just moved, making his getaway. Mikleo understood. He wouldn’t want to be seen with someone like Mikleo for long. Everyone would be talking inside about what happened, he was sure of it.

Mikleo exited, slowly taking the stairs down. It was so early the sun hadn’t even set yet, and he couldn’t remember the last time he got off work early enough to see the sun go down. But he couldn’t appreciate the sight. Not with what had happened weighing heavily on him.

He walked to the small park across the street and sat, looking at his phone. At the order. None of it made sense - he knew, _knew_ , none of this info was right. So how did it end up on the order? He had no other clients, so there was no way there would be a mix up.

As he was staring, the screen turning white as his eyes stopped focusing, his phone vibrated in his hand and pulled everything back into focus.

**_Lailah: Mikleo, can I call you? I’ve been trying to reach you all week._ **

Mikleo swallowed. Perhaps hearing from his aunt would help, somehow. Even just to listen to her ramble on about what was going on back at home.

**_M: Sure._ **

The phone instantly lit up with her call.

_“Mikleo! Thank goodness.”_

The worry in her voice distracted him briefly, making him raise his eyebrows. “What’s going on?”

_“Edna told me you had met someone!”_

He rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that,” he lied with a sigh, because he didn’t want to think about that right now, about what they were, “he’s just a friend from school I bumped into.”

_“Ah well, that’s…”_

Mikleo waited for her to continue, but she did not. He leaned his head back and looked up at the sky. Speaking of Sorey, he would probably call him next. Even though they said no drinks the next time they met up, he could really use one.

 _“Mikleo,”_ Lailah spoke again, _“that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”_

“What, about Sorey?”

_“Yes, see, I was confused, when Edna mentioned him, because the name didn’t sound familiar. And you know me, I remember everyone. Especially your friends in school.”_

Mikleo stared forward at the trees. They were turning a bright orange as the sun set.

“Brown hair, green eyes? Are you sure?” This was the end, it seemed. The last grains of sand he held were finally slipping away.

 _“Mikleo,”_ Lailah breathed out, and he clung to his phone like a lifeline, _“There is no one from Elysia named Sorey.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //looks at slow burn tag//
> 
> Listen I can explain. This is just the start I swear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The easiest way to deal with this would be to just...confront it. With the kind of day he had, Mikleo needed to try to maintain control of at least _this_. He could face Sorey. Find out the truth. 
> 
> And then make a clean exit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so....my last update was in February. D: 
> 
> I won't go into all the details, but it turns out my injury was much more than a pinched nerve. Sad to say, writing had to take a backseat while I focused on getting better. I wrote a bit when I could, but for some reason coming back to this story was tough, and when I was actually able to write I focused on what I was inspired to do since time and capability was limited. 
> 
> I'm much better now though than I was back in February, finally having figured out just two months ago exactly what path was needed for me to get better. And so when I opened this doc, I decided that I could at least get this bit out to you guys. It's a shorter chapter, but I feel bad for leaving Mikleo hanging for this long. :3 
> 
> Anyways!! All that being said, if you're still hanging around for this story, thanks so much!

_“Mikleo?”_

He blinked slowly, then a few more times quickly and shook his head as he came back to himself. His eyes burned and his vision was spotted, and he didn’t know if it was from staring up at the sky too long, or the weight of everything from that day had just blinded him.

It didn’t really matter which it was.

He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and cleared his throat as Lailah’s voice became more panicked as she repeated his name.

“Yes, yes. I’m here.”

_“Are you okay?”_

She couldn’t know, truly, what this all meant. That Sorey had lied to him. That somehow everything that had happened over the last few weeks was not real. That the one person who had managed to bring Mikleo out of the dark fog that had become his life had deceived him.

“It’s fine. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding. My memory has been pretty bad lately.” He lied.

Mikleo closed his eyes and focused on calming his breathing. The silence on the other end warned him this might not be the end of the conversation.

_“Okay, are you heading home? You sound tired.”_

“Mm, I’m on my way.” More lies. The last place he wanted to be was home. Alone. “I’ll make sure to rest.”

They said their final goodbyes. Mikleo sat with his phone in hand, resting against his thigh. He wasn’t sure what to do with this information about Sorey, or how to even process it. Why would Sorey need to lie about where Mikleo knew him from?

Mikleo thought back to the night at the train station. About how Sorey found him, at just the right moment. He knew his name, somehow….

Mikleo’s hand flew to the badge currently attached to the pocket of his coat. He squeezed his eyes and leaned forward, hands balled into fists and pressed to his forehead. He had been so foolish to just blindly follow a stranger, but he had also not been in a good place that night. The fact that someone would save him like that had distracted him from most rational thought.

He should have seen through it.

But what did Sorey have to gain by pretending to be someone he wasn’t? He hadn’t asked Mikleo for money. If anything, he had been giving Mikleo….so much.

And the kiss.

Mikleo groaned and pressed his hands against his face harder to try to stop the tears building up.

He had been such an idiot.

A vibration against his chest made him sit up. The notification on the screen, as if he were being summoned by Mikleo’s thoughts, was there brightly lit.

**_S: Hey Mikleo! The usual tonight?_ **

Mikleo gripped his phone tight and took in a few deep breaths. Then he replied.

**_M: Sure. See you in 30?_ **

He didn’t even wait to see if Sorey would agree. He knew he would, and so Mikleo tucked his phone away into his bag and tried not to think about what Sorey’s replies might be while his phone vibrated several times.

The easiest way to deal with _this_ would be to just...confront it. With the kind of day he had, Mikleo needed to try to maintain control of at least this. He could face Sorey. Find out the truth.

And then make a clean exit.

Mikleo shouldered his bag and made his way to the train station, preparing his speech under a shaky breath.

 

* * *

 

Mikleo stood at the front of the same bar as he had many times the last few weeks. His heart and mind were heavy and dark with thoughts of what lay ahead of him beyond the door. As he entered, he wondered if seeing Sorey would change something in him. Would he really want to throw away the feeling of the last few weeks?

“Mikleo!”

Sorey sat in one of the small corner tables, a glass of beer already sitting there, waiting for Mikleo.

He couldn’t move.

Sorey had been waving, but as Mikleo remained frozen as he watched as Sorey’s expression shifted from that wide smile, to worry.

_No, please don’t care so much. Don’t keep lying to me._

Mikleo still couldn’t make his feet move and then suddenly Sorey was there beside him. His hands wrapped around Mikleo’s arm, fingers tight against his coat.

“Mikleo? Hey, you okay?” He guided them to the table. Mikleo hardly realized they were moving until he was sitting across from Sorey.

He decided to stare into the bottom of his glass instead of those big, concerned eyes.

“Sorry just...a bad day.” His heart was beating so fast but his mind was blank, unable to decipher what he should be doing against what his heart wanted.

A warm hand gripped his shoulder. Mikleo closed his eyes tight. One step at a time.

“I lost the Rolance account.”

The hand squeezed tighter. “What? How?”

Mikleo shook his head. “I messed up. It’s my own fault.”

“Mikleo --”

“It’s done,” Mikleo didn’t raise his head. He gripped the glass of cold beer and drank it quickly, downing most of it in just a few gulps. As he set it down, he finally allowed himself to meet Sorey’s gaze.

His heart skipped.

Sorey’s hand slid off Mikleo’s shoulder, but it rested on the table, close to Mikleo like an open invitation. Mikleo remembered how it felt to slide their fingers together, the way his skin nearly buzzed at the touch.

Sorey’s eyes were sad, his eyebrows bent deep with worry, and his mouth pursed tight. Like he actually cared about Mikleo, and his job, and what happened to him.

If he had cared, then…

“Sorey,” his voice caught and cracked and he swallowed. He looked down at Sorey’s hand and wished so much he could just grab it. And keep pretending.

“I’m here, Mikleo.” The hand slid closer and Mikleo wanted to cry, right there, because Sorey had seemed so perfect. And yet somehow he had made sure that turned into a mess also.

He sat back, putting distance between himself and the hand, between himself and the warmth of Sorey’s skin. When he looked up, Sorey had also leaned back, his hand curled into a fist on the table.

Mikleo couldn’t do this. It felt like...

It felt like breaking up. That’s what it felt like he was doing. Here, in a shitty bar with beers between them. But they were hardly friends, so why did it hurt so much?

He let out a short breath and sat up, trying to stare directly at Sorey. This was something he could control, he had to remember that. Work was terrible, but this. He could at least be sure he wasn’t taken advantage of anymore.

“Sorey, why did you…” the words hung up again but he pushed down the ache rising up his throat, “...why did you lie to me?”

Sorey’s face went slack. His hand slipped off the table and into his lap. His gaze followed it as he fumbled with the bracelets around his wrists.

“Ah,” he let out a sigh.

Mikleo couldn’t stop himself. He leaned forward and tried to keep his voice low. “You’re supposed...you’re supposed to say you didn’t. You’re supposed to prove me wrong.”

That was his last hope in all this. The chance for a misunderstanding, a chance for redemption. A chance for them to have a laugh and continue on as they were before.

When Sorey looked back up, there was something different in his eyes. “How did I lie?”

Mikleo narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to make me say it?”

Sorey only nodded. Mikleo could see his pulse beating in his throat, though. If this was how Sorey wanted this to go, Mikleo would do it, if only to further call him out and challenge his actions. 

He could control this, and Sorey was allowing it. 

“Fine,” Mikleo nearly draped across the table as he leaned over and stared down Sorey. “You’re not from Elysia. We didn’t know each other as kids. We’re strangers.”

Sorey stared at him. He focused on the full glasses of beers between them. “I’m not. We didn’t...and I...I guess we are.”

There were a few beats of silence as they stared at each other, the noise of the bar nearly overpowering Mikleo's heartbeat. Just like that, he admitted it all. 

“Why,” Mikleo lowered his head onto the table, resting his cheek against the cool wood. He didn’t care how he looked to anyone else in that moment. He focused on the wall beside them, studying the cracks and waiting for Sorey’s answer. For whatever reason he had for making him believe there was something good in his life.

There was a hand on his shoulder again, gentle this time, and glasses moving out of his vision, replaced by green eyes and soft brown hair as Sorey mimicked his position to face him.

“It seemed...a good idea at the time.” Sorey whispered, and Mikleo sort of wished he couldn’t look into those bright eyes. But also, he couldn’t force himself to look away.

Sorey continued, but his voice was softer. “Mikleo, all I saw was you, looking... exhausted and miserable and then there was the train and...” He closed his eyes and sat up, leaving Mikleo’s vision. “I didn’t want to scare you. I just wanted you to feel safe. I panicked.”

Despite the comfort of his position, Mikleo also sat up, just enough to curl his arms to rest his chin on them.

Sorey looked out over the bar, worrying his bottom lip.

“It’s been bothering me ever since, that I blurted out such a thing. I didn’t know how to take it back though.” He finally looked back to Mikleo. Placing his hands flat on the table, he lowered his head to touch the wood. “I’m very sorry, Mikleo. Please.” He stayed there, and Mikleo felt frozen by the scene.

“Please forgive me, Mikleo.” Sorey’s voice strained.

Mikleo wrapped his head around Sorey’s words, trying not to just rush ahead. If Sorey had really only meant well, it could make sense. Mikleo hadn’t been well that night. What would he have done if some stranger grabbed him like Sorey had and tried to whisk him away to a bar? It would make sense Sorey wouldn't have wanted to spook him...

“Sorey,” He lifted his hand and tentatively placed it on top of Sorey’s.

Sorey snapped his head up.

“I understand,” Mikleo couldn’t smile, not yet. There was still too much of the day to think about, to deal with, but this was one step to moving forward, perhaps.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, you know that’s the last thing I wanted.” Sorey slowly flipped his hand under Mikleo’s. He let it rest there, careful, as their fingers lightly touched each other’s palms.

“I…” Mikleo let out all the anger and sadness built up in his chest and rested his head once more on the table, but kept his hand still.

“It was a bad day. This didn’t help.” Mikleo muttered. Somehow the feeling of the wooden tabletop as it brushed his lips was less than comforting.

Sorey’s fingers twitched up. “Mikleo, I’m sorry.”

Mikleo nodded his head but found he still couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Here,” Sorey took Mikleo’s hand, causing Mikleo to jump up but not trying to pull his hand away.

Sorey sat upright, holding Mikleo’s hand as if they were shaking hands. “My name is Sorey. I enjoy reading, eating, and meeting mysterious men in train stations.”

Mikleo snorted and winced at the sound. He understood what Sorey was trying to do, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he should go play along. He squeezed Sorey’s hand and met his eyes. He tried not to notice that they seemed a touch wet in the corners.

“Nice to meet you, Sorey. I’m Mikleo…” He swallowed and let his fingertips graze Sorey’s wrist. “I enjoy sleeping, and...getting rescued by equally mysterious men.” He felt silly saying the words, but seeing Sorey's face light up and a blush across his cheeks made Mikleo feel warm. 

Sorey smiled as their hands held onto each other tighter across the table.  “Nice to meet you, Mikleo.”

Mikleo couldn't bring himself to smile just yet, but the darkness he had in his heart earlier seemed to be drifting away. Just a little. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikleo letting his guard down again totally won't lead to anything else bad happening nope nope. 
> 
> _(:3」∠)_

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/crazyloststar) as well. Thanks for reading!


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